I used to be an avid journal writer. In fact my storage area contains a journal for almost every year of my life. Several years ago I came upon a saying that subsequently became my first entry in any new journal. Here it is:
Every New Beginning
Is a Door to Adventure-
A Threshold of Discovery......
I've always loved that saying, but it seems particularly poignant to me at this time. Those of you who know me well, know that over the last few years my life has taken some suprising and unexpected turns. And now I'm faced with many difficult decisions....
Looking back, I realize that I haven't had a lot of tough choices to make. Although I am cautious and indecisive by nature, most of my "big" decisions weren't very difficult ones. Usually I just knew in my heart what the right choice was and made it. Problem solved!
The decisions I'm now facing are much harder and more complicated than ones I've faced before. There are no perfect solutions, at least none that I can come up with. And as I've prayed over the most significant choice, the answer that keeps coming to me is to, "just wait." I hate that answer! I am eager to move forward, eager for closure, eager for change, eager for a "New Beginning." But there are certain choices that I simply CANNOT make unless I KNOW with 100 % certainty that they are right.
I don't know what the future holds for me. I wish I did. In the midst of one recent crisis I counselled with my dad, who said, "I wonder, when you look back at this point in your life will you see it as the end of a good stage of life or as the beginning of one?" His statement gave me pause. Although some windows are closing, others are opening. I am beginning to see cracks of light through doors I thought would be forever closed to me. And that gives me hope. I don't know what tomorrow will bring or even what choices I will make, but I do know that it will all work for my good and that for now I just need to exercise patience.